Conversations with moto-taxi drivers

Introductory note: Blog comments are now fixed. Ya'll have no excuse not to let me know you're reading my rambling now.... Thanks!

A couple weeks ago, I travelled to Yaounde to attend a meeting. After another interesting and slightly ridiculous meeting (euphemisms), I headed to marche central for a bit of fabric retail therapy (I am high contributor to the local tailoring economy). While walking in the market, someone yelled “La Visa” at me. This is best story I have to summarize what it is like to be a white, solo female in Cameroon.

You see, “La Visa” wasn’t meant in a visa/mastercard way, but in a Visa-to-another-country way. Those of us “blanches” are viewed as a ticket out of the country (FYI it is crazy expensive to fly in or out of Cameroon). There are also other assumptions made about us “blanches” thanks to Hollywood movies and popular culture…. But, that is another story.

The result of this is a ridiculous amount of marriage proposals from complete strangers. All the time. Because I am stealthy and sneaky-like, I wear a ring on my wedding finger and just reply “je suis marie” to whomever is asking. However, many of the best of these conversations occur when I am on the back of a moto-taxi by myself, and I personally, find them rather entertaining. Here are some excerpts:

Driver: You are married?

Me: Yes.

Driver: This is bad news for me. Very, bad news.

Me: Not for me! [awkward laughter]

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Driver: I want a white girl friend. Tell me how do I get a white girl friend?

Me: Find one that’s not taken already. [laughs]

Driver: [laughs]

Me: And maybe one that actually lives in Cameroon…. That might help your case.

Driver: [more laughter]

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Driver: I want to go to Canada, but it’s very expensive. How do I go to Canada?

Me: Better start saving!

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Driver: You are from Canada? Like Celine Dion?

Me: Yes.

Driver: Celine Dion is amazing. We love her music. Very very much.
Me: ....

Driver: Marry me?
Me: ....

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Driver: You are married?

Me: Yes, but my husband is in Canada.

Driver: I am in Cameroon.

Me: ….

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Driver: You be my woman?

Me: Sorry. I don’t understand. My French is not good. Bye!

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I choose to handle most advances with humour, or default to my “je ne comprend pas”, which with my Anglophone accent usually does the trick (This was also my response when someone asked me for my shoes at a workshop once… But what am I supposed to wear then??? ).  

But, on a more serious note, being a solo, young, female, let alone a foreign female in Cameroon is difficult. Bloody, friggin, difficult. Especially in the workplace..... Fingers crossed for my sanity, people.

A la prochain!

Much love.

- C